end your family’s summer on a high note
For parents of teens, the back-to-school responsibilities can seem unending: shop for clothes, plan carpools, manage high school/college orientation logistics, and plan to stock the pantry with all of the weeknight snacks and dinner staples. (Don’t forget to add every sports event to your calendar and then untangle the inevitable scheduling conflicts, too! 😵💫)
And the worst part is that the back-to-school stress creeps into your summer, prematurely claiming the carefree spirit of the season and transforming it into an all-out, exhausting sprint towards the school year. Forget your end-of-summer fantasies of relaxing poolside with your family and finishing that book you’ve had on your nightstand for 5 months: August can feel like a tumultuous extension of the school year, and not at all like a relaxing, celebratory cap on the end of a restorative summer season. Yikes!
You (and your family) deserve better.
Read on to cut through the chaos with 4 Impactful Ways to Connect with Your Teen During Back-to-School Season.
It can be easy to turn an enviable eye on your teen as the parental back-to-school duties land in your lap like a heavy, stinking pile of you-know-what, right at the peak of your summer. You may be tempted to think, as your teen rolls out of bed, cleans out the fridge in a sudden, intense snack binge and then waltzes out the door to meet up with friends with barely a good-bye: They don’t even know how good they have it!
You’re right: they have no clue!
That blissful, untethered ignorance is the joy of being a teen, in a nutshell. Tread lightly, though, because here’s the catch:
They think that you are clueless, too!
While you know that things aren’t as simple for your teen as they might appear, you might - for just a moment or two - lose sight of the fact that your teen faces plenty of back-to-school stress, too. By doing so, you may unwittingly compound the atmosphere of chaos and dread within your household, kissing the breezy summer vibes good-bye before you have to.
Don’t beat yourself up! This awareness provides you with a golden opportunity to shine as a grounded, present parent who embraces fun through back-to-school season and beyond.
Here’s how:
4 Impactful Ways to Connect with Your Teen During Back-to-School Season
Prioritize fun! 🥳
Spontaneity, impulsiveness, embracing the spirit of “YOLO”… These are the hallmarks of life as a teen! Having end-of-summer fun together in the midst of school shopping and preparing for the school year will help you and your teen connect on the same level. Celebrate summer with dinner at your teen's favorite restaurant, a beach day or a last minute camping adventure. Or try visiting Top Golf, going to a concert, or hosting a pool party. Pro tip: Incorporate your teen into brainstorming and planning to keep their interests and curiosities at the forefront of your end-of-summer spontaneity.
Include your teen. 🤝
Reduce your workload and boost your teen’s self-confidence by empowering your teen to handle back-to-school logistics and planning whenever possible. Examples include: encouraging your teen to make a comprehensive list of dorm supplies and then handling the shopping/ordering, letting your teen connect with peers to coordinate their carpools for school & extracurriculars, or having your teen plan a meal for one night per week, then shop for ingredients and prepare dinner for the family. Help skeptical teens understand that taking ownership of their life will alleviate stress and friction, and it will help them build skills that will serve them as they move away to college and throughout the rest of their life. You will be waiting in the wings, ready to assist with a light, loving touch when they need a boost of support. Pro tip: Ask your teen which parts of back-to-school prep they want to own and master and then hand over those reigns!
Ease expectations. 🕊️
Back-to-school stress isn’t exclusive to adults - your teens feel it, too! While certainly not a comprehensive list, back-to-school season can stir up stress in your teen about:
Fitting in with peers (while still being their uniquely awesome selves)
Performing well academically, along with standing out in their extracurricular endeavors
Dating and romance
The responsibility of making larger (and scarier!) life decisions (such as where to go to college, what to study, and what a rewarding career might be for themselves)
Making the transition to college (new friends, new town, potentially no local family - yikes!)
All totally normal and understandable! (We’ve been there, right??) So, how can you help? Your first step, without prying, is to acknowledge their stress and validate it. Let your teen know that you understand, you’re there for them, and that while it is a monumental season of your teen’s life, there’s no decision they can make - good or bad - that will seal their fate forever or diminish your love for them. Assure your teen that you have faith that if they listen to their intuition and inner guidance, their life will unfold in beautiful ways, exactly as it was meant to. (Remember when your teen was just a tiny baby and you were SO CURIOUS for them to grow older and unveil their distinctive personality and calling? Now is the time, more than ever, to step back and let them reveal their truest selves!) This gift of trust will be invaluable to your teen and your relationship with them, trust me! 😉
Create a ritual. ⭐
Shift into the school year mindfully by starting a family ritual or setting a family intention. Rituals can include: a daily gratitude practice around the dinner table, a weekly family meeting for everyone to check-in, a tech-free hour or two each day, an after dinner walk around the neighborhood, or a few rounds of deep, mindful breathing together. Pro tip: Physically memorialize your family’s goals or intentions so that it stays top of mind! For example: Is there a beloved quote that embodies your family’s values? Have it printed and framed, then hang it in a gathering place such as the den or the dining room for inspiration all school year long.
Remember: you are playing the long game when it comes to building a relationship with your teen and creating the family life of your dreams. It takes hard work, but it’s worth it.
PS - You know what else it takes?? A village! Click here to book a (free!) 30-minute 1:1 call with me to learn how I can give you the guidance and accountability you will need as you reclaim your relationship with yourself and your teenage children. It is never too late to start!
