no….that did not just happen

Do you get the eye roll, the look away, the total disengagement when you are in a teachable moment with your teen?  I totally get it!  I feel ya!  

I really thought I had something profound to say to my teen, like an ah-ha moment that he was going to think it was just a genius thought and start implementing immediately. 

But what I got instead was the look away…really…the look away!  

Then I remembered pretty quickly: 

Teens are being teens.  They sure the hell don’t want mom’s advice about anything except if they SPECIFICALLY ask for it.  What this looks like is:  Mom, what do you think?  Mom, what are your thoughts?   

Teens love conversation with their parents but what they do not want is to be told what to do, how to think, or anything else that sounds like a “should” or “have to.”

So what was most important about all of this is that I didn’t make it mean anything about me!  

I did not think:  I am talking to you and you need to listen to what I have to say.

I did not think:  He should listen to what I have to say.

I did not think:  He needs to respect me and listen to me.

I did not think:  How freakin rude is he.

I decided to choose a totally different way to see this (and it was a game changer): 

 Ahhh, I get why he did the “look away”.  It is because he is totally being a teen. This is what teens do.  I will refrain from using my great wisdom on him right now and wait for him to ask for it since I know he will receive it much better!    In the meantime, I can just show him my love.  

I get it, there are things that our teens “have to do”, but telling them that they “need to” or “have to” is a sure way of having them turn off and shut down which doesn’t help you, or them.  Find ways to connect with them that you think may work best and collaborate with your teen to find a better solution that works for you both :)

Parents love partnering with me as their teen’s life coach.

Parents are on-board with me getting the potential eye roll, look away, and/or disengagement.  This allows the parents to do what they love best with their teen…..Be the mom, be the dad that just loves up on their child.  

I get to be the person that shows up and asks the questions, suggests different perspectives, helps with friend issues or advice, supports with college selection, helps with understanding and managing emotions.  I provide tools on how to not do the eye roll and look away, and actually communicate their feelings (even if it's hard for their parents to hear what they have to say).  I provide encouragement, I got their back, I nudge them to go after what they truly want.     

AND the best part is that parents get to do what they do best, which is love their teen and allow me to help their teen find their way!  

Life Coaching is a wonderful partnership to support your relationship with your teen.  This is not therapy but a way to up level your relationship with the ones you love.  If you or your teen are ready to get coached, connect with me.  Let's get started today!  I have 1:1 opportunities and a teen group coaching series starting soon.