are you being “graspy” with your teen’s time?

Do you feel the shift in your relationship with your teen? The shift where they start to spend more time without you.  When friends are a priority. The xbox is winning their time. Your teen's first boyfriend or girlfriend has them on FaceTime...ALL THE TIME. 
No matter what you do, you are seeing them less and less.  Boy, it sucks.  

Our logical brain can see it: we see our teens growing and evolving. We are happy that they want to hang out with friends, that they want to be social on the weekends. Then our thoughts get in the way and we start spiraling, thinking our teens will never need us and they don’t want to spend any time with us.  

What if I told you that your teens want to spend the majority of time with friends or on their xbox BUT they also want to spend time with you!!!! 

The key to spending quality time with your teen is understanding what energy are you bringing to the relationship with your teen.   

So many of my teen clients complain how much their parents are always nagging them to do something.  What type of energy are you showing up with your teen?

Are you in “needy” energy?
Are you in “grapsy” energy?
Are you “controlling” energy?  

This is what "graspy" energy looks like:   Please, please, please spend time with me.  Please come watch a movie with me. Let’s make dinner together, please eat with me. Let's go shopping together.   

This is what “needy” energy looks like:  I need your help with food shopping. I need you to do this errand for me. I need you to sit with me and watch a show.

This is what “controlling” energy looks like:  I made dinner reservations for the whole family tonight, and you need to be there.  Thursday you are golfing with Dad and I, we all will leave at 12pm.  You must go to church with us every Sunday.  You have to go to grandma's for Sunday dinner.

We all have been there, craving our teens' attention and time.  We love our teens and want to spend time with them but if you want to build lasting connection with them we need to shift our energy out of graspy, needy, and controlling energy to truly connect with them.  Coming from these energies doesn’t work if you want a lasting and real relationship with your teen.

HERE IS  WHAT YOU  NEED TO KNOW!

You are NOT being replaced!  It is impossible to replace you.  

What your teen is doing is totally normal and is supposed to be naturally separating and growing.  As parents, we have to come from open energy and allow them the time and space to grow.  As parents, we have to continue doing what we love to do, and invite our teens to do it.  If they say no, then do it anyway.  It is a perfect time to rediscover your joys and what makes you happy.  Start incorporating more fun in your life and your teen may or may not join you.  

For me, I love my afternoon walks with my dog.  Each day as I am heading out the door, I ask my teens if they would like to join.  For weeks/months, I would get no takers.  Then eventually,  one, two, or all three teens would join me, depending on the day and their mood….hehe.  Each day, I continued to enjoy my walk and ask my teens.  Now, one of my teens asks me each day, what time is our walk?  It is my most favorite time of the day!!!!  This happened naturally, not from a graspy, controlling or needy way.  From a:  I am heading out and would love for you to join, but if not totally ok.  I use this same energy, with watching my favorite series or heading out to dinner with my hubby.  If they join, yay, if not, I am still going to have a wonderful time.  

Remember, your teen loves you and needs you.  It is our job to create a loving, open energy for them  to feel loved, safe, and welcomed!!!

I am here to support you to build the relationship you desire with your teen!  Don’t hesitate, let's work together!  I offer 1:1 sessions to build the life you truly desire for yourself and family!

Set up a free 30 minute "Get To Know Me" Call:  Click here to schedule


I also offer 1:1 Parent Pop In Sessions.  PARENT POP IN is an easy and fast way to learn how to deal with a specific concern or topic in real time. We will spend 15-30 minutes working through your thoughts to provide a path forward that strengthens the relationship with your teen AND gives you the perspective and guidance to handle the situation in a way that is authentic to both of you. 


Set up your "Parent Pop In" Call: Click here


Sending loving thoughts your way!