how i am building trust with my teen
I know building trust with my teens is crucial in staying connected with them. Sometimes it is easier said then done.
I am over here in the midst of “trying to loosen my grip” and trust my teen as she wants to be way more social than my older teens ever were. This is something new I am experiencing and I wanted to share my thoughts and how I am working through this with my teen in hopes to help if you are experiencing something similar. My goal is to develop a trusting relationship with my teen. Navigating my thoughts is key in reaching my goal.
Building trust requires time, effort, and commitment from us and our teens.
I grew up with parents that I perceived as strict when it came to going out on weekends. I was told only bad things happen when a group of teenagers get together. I was permitted to go out one night a weekend and the details of where I was going was of course a must. I adopted the thought: only bad things happen when teens get together. So I can now see why my first response when my teen wants to go out with a bunch of friends is a big fat NO.
My teen is super extroverted and loves being social. She gains energy from being around people. As I am the opposite, I love my alone time and gain my energy from hibernating in my house. I have to keep this in mind when she wants to go, go, go.
My uneasiness comes from my thought: Only bad things happen when teens get together.
When I challenge this thought, I know it is untrue. I have proof that when teens get together that bad things don’t happen. I look back from when I was a teen and was with groups of kids all the time and nothing “bad” happened. My teens have been surrounded by other teens and nothing “bad” happened. With being able to challenge my thoughts and seeing how it is not true my uneasiness starts to dissolve. This allows me to be more open to saying YES to my teen instead of NO. This allows me to build trust with my teen and provide her space to make choices.
Fostering independence will encourage your teens personal growth and self-expression.
What is keeping you from trusting your teen? Is it old thoughts that you inherited? Is it from your experience being a teen? Let me help you identify your old thoughts, your old programming so you can build a loving, lasting relationship with your teen.
