let them fly
As a mom of teens, I wrestle with letting my kids go off and fly and keeping them so close to me I practically suffocate them. There is a type of dance that goes on in my mind: One, where I know God created them with their own purpose and given strengths to serve in a big way and then Second: I want to keep them small and never let them grow up.
There was a time I really struggled with this. When my son was about 13 he was determined to head off to boarding school to play ice hockey. Everything inside of me said “hell no” but there was a small piece of me in awe of this kid's determination and passion.
I remember talking with my life coach as I was wrestling with thoughts: “he should be with me until college”, “he needs me,” “no one I know would ever let their kid go across the country for school”, “I am not ready for this.” “My parents will think I am nuts.” I told my coach, I just want to hold onto him and never let him go. And she said, but what if you let him fly so you can watch him soar?''
I still get chills and tears in my eyes from this because I knew she was right.
This was his dream, his desire, and who was I to keep him from going out and being his awesome self.
I repeat this line to myself all the time when my teens want to try something new/different…….Let them fly so I can feel the joy of seeing them smile, so I get a chance to see them get up when they fall, so I can be their biggest fan.
Let me tell you….it is hard to let our teens fly. It is hard to watch them fall at times, but I know deep down we need our teens to experience the life they want. Their desire will keep them motivated to pursue their dreams and enjoy the life they created instead of the life we wanted for them.
I get it, it is not always easy to let our kids explore who they are and what brings them joy. To be honest, ever since they were in the womb we dreamt of what they would be like, how they would act, what sports they would be playing, what college and career they would have. I even do this now by saying they can’t date until they are 25...who am I kidding.
LET GO OF YOUR STORY, AND LET YOUR TEEN WRITE THEIR OWN!
Let your teen discover their true values, what lights them up, and allow them to take their own path.
Sure... be supportive. Gently guide them or in my case drive them to all the things they want to pursue. But it is time to let them fly…...so they can soar!
It is not our job to ‘hold on so tight’ that they don’t experience hardship, failure, or disappointment. This is part of life and it will be the greatest learning for our teens.
Be your teen’s biggest supporter when they go after what they want. Tell them that everyone’s journey is filled with ups and downs but it doesn’t mean we give up. Let them know that the greatest learnings are from failures. Celebrate their successes, be with them when things don’t go their way. Tell them they got this, and you are sure they will figure out the next step.
Our teens want independence, our teens want us to trust them, our teens want us to say we love them no matter what! So it is time too stop navigating their life and land the helicopter because your teen is ready to be the pilot of their Life.
