holding space

Holding space for a teen can be super powerful.  I know as moms we want to help, advise, fix, or flat out tell them what to do.  The reason why we want to “help” is so they can feel better so then we can feel better.  

When our teens are struggling we tend to feel shitty and the only way to stop feeling shitty is to fix the situation as soon as possible (or so we think). 

Many of my teen clients state that they open up to their parents but then they start talking and telling them how to feel, or what to do, and then the teen gets angry or shuts down because they are not feeling seen or heard.  

As parents, we are honored that our teen comes to us when things are not going well.  But seriously, they don’t want our advice just a safe place to vent.  

Our teens have the answers, they will figure out their next step. They just want to be seen and heard.  The best thing we can do as parents during this time is to:  Hold Space.

Holding Space is holding unconditional space where thoughts and emotions can be expressed and understood. This act alone will allow your teen to be open and express themselves without judgment. This is so powerful.

Our ONLY JOB in this situation is to be there and listen aka Hold Space.  Bite your tongue….do not advise, do not fix, do not offer a single piece of advice.  Just Be Present...Allow them to speak openly and freely. Let them cry, let them be angry, let them experience any emotion they are experiencing.  Our job is to be there, sit with them,  and/or hold them if they are open to it.

Steps to Holding Space

Be Present

Listen

Be Neutral:  do not allow your emotions to take over.  

Hold them (if they allow you too)

Allow them to feel, to feel it all.  

When time has passed and you feel no more words will be expressed just offer:  Thanks for talking to me,  I know you got this.  I am here if you ever need me or want to chat.  

Be honored that they came to you.  They feel comfortable discussing their feelings with you.  That is amazing!  You got this!  Give it a try and let me know how it goes! 

Reach out if you or your teen need support.  I am an expert at Holding Space and will be honored to hold space for you or your teen!