Our words are POWERFUL. I was at a hockey game a couple months back and I had the ability to sit above the bench of the team. This gave me the birds eye view of the hockey bench!

The team came out on fire! They were dialed in! They were on a mission to win. You could see it and feel it! The energy was intense in a fun, exhilarating, competitive way! The warm up music was on point and you can tell the team was on fire!

In the book the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, the first agreement is to be impeccable with your word. “Your word is a force, it is the power you have to express and communicate, to think, and thereby to create the events in your life.”

The first period was an even hockey game. The energy was high and the play was super competitive. Since I had a birds eye view of the bench and could hear the coaches, I noticed how the tone changed by the end of the first period. The words they chose to use was the game changer of what was happening on the ice.

The coach was focusing on what was not working and kept providing more and more examples of what the players were not doing well, rather than pointing out what was working.

The coach’s perspective focused on the negative portions of the game without providing any advice or guidance to improve. This was the main factor why the game on the ice started to transpire into the opposite of how it started. The players started to believe the words the coaches were saying. They started focusing on what was not working, and what you focus on the reality transpires.

The word is the most powerful tool you have as a human.

The next time you are about to speak, choose your words wisely! Speak blessings and words of encouragement to your teens. See the good they are doing and choose to see that instead of what is not going well. We know it is impossible to live a perfect life, but the pressure we put on our teens to live perfection is overwhelming and not possible to live up to. Practice seeing the goodness and voicing it!

Our teens need to understand that they do not need to prove anything for us to love them.

They need to see that we love them whether they do something extraordinary or not.

Our love is unconditional! Shower your teens with unconditional love.

manifestation 101…..it is not all woo woo

I have been practicing manifestation for years now. In the beginning, I would never mention it to anyone.

It felt so woo woo, that in my corporate job and my very controlled life, it did not fit into the life I was living. I did not fully believe in manifestation but I kept seeing the word everywhere and took it as a sign. I was intrigued, but truly was full of skepticism. I dove into all the books and podcasts and began dabbling into practicing manifestation.

Now I am a full on BELIEVER of manifestation!

Manifestation is super mainstream now. I hear people talking about it more and more. Some people chalk it up to it being so “Out There” but I have a few practical tips I want to share with you. It is worth giving it a try….what do you have to lose!

Purposely manifesting has helped me create the life I have today!

Roxie Malfousi stated it perfectly:

Manifesting is about becoming so empowered and full of self belief that you make things happen. It is taking empowered action towards your dreams.

Manifesting is not just sitting and dreaming of what you want. You have to take aligned action towards it.

I teach my clients Manifestation 101! We have so much fun in this process and learning these tools. It starts with understanding what you want. Most of us do not even know what we want. So how is the universe going to conspire on our behalf if we don’t claim our desires?

A true gift!

Most of us spend the day with our inner thoughts beating ourselves up with thoughts of:

I wish I was….. I should be…..

Our inner critic is mighty but we have to learn to lower the voice of these unhelpful thoughts.

These thoughts spill out into our day and we start to believe they are true.

Leaving us unmotivated and uninspired. Our days start to look the same and the mundane sets in. We forgot why we are here and start to question our purpose and if we are making an impact.

We tend to do the same with our teens. We start to pick apart what they are not doing well and provide unhelpful commentary that continues to de-motivate instead of inspire.

I hear parents say…..I wish my teen would be motivated, I wish my teen would put more effort into math, I wish my teen took school more seriously, I wish my teen would just clean their room, I wish my teen would see I am only trying to help, I wish my teen understood how lucky they are, etc.

Our brains love looking for what is not working. I challenge you to see 3 things that your teen is doing well (each day)! And inspire them to keep at it!

Let us Show versus Tell our teens!

Instead of teaching our teens by telling them what to do, how about mirroring how you want them to show up in this world!

I believe the best way our teens learn is by watching how you live your life.

Ask yourself:

How are you showing up in this world?

Are you taking risks?

Are you playing small?

Do you dislike your career?

What type of friends are you keeping?

What is your relationship like with your partner?

How are you caring for yourself?

Do you make yourself a priority?

Are you an example of what is possible?

Are you a negative nelly?

Are you numbing your emotions with food, alcohol, or social media?

Your teen is watching and I can guarantee they tuned you out after the 30th time you said the same thing you are trying to get across to them.

I am sure you heard: LEAD BY EXAMPLE but how many times do we actually do this.

I encourage you to take steps in ways you never did before.

Allow your teen to see you strive to be the best version of yourself.

Let them see you start something new and fail thousands of times and still keep at it until you reach your goal!

The New Year brings on a fresh start! A newness! A re-creation of sorts.

It gives us an opportunity to reflect and discover where we are and where we want to go!

THE TIME IS NOW!

I carve out one evening, grab my journal, cozy up to the fire, with my cup of tea, and reflect on the past year and how I envision the upcoming year. I do it from the lens of me as the hero of my story. We are the heroes of our story but we tend to pick out the parts that did not go so well and I take this time to concentrate on all the things that did. And since I am the co-creator of my life it allows me to write the story as the hero of my journey.

With my clients, we start this process together. We begin by brainstorming all the accomplishments that occurred in the last year. Big and small!

The Best Gift you can give your teen is the gift of presence.  More than anything, they want to be seen and heard by YOU!

Oh yes……. your teen wants the newest phone, the newest gaming system, and of course the list goes on and on but we know that material things provide short term happiness.  What your teen really wants is to feel your unconditional love.  They crave your loving attention. 

They would rather you forgo the obligatory holiday party to watch a holiday movie and sip on some hot coco. Or any other holiday excursion your family loves to experience together! 

Your teen wants to create memories with YOU! 

I Love Thanksgiving....BRING IT ON!

Not for the turkey or the stuffing but for the reminder that it is so much more than the turkey, stuffing and pies. For me, it reminds me to have a deep sense of gratitude.

Thanksgiving is not just a holiday celebration once a year. It is an attitude that produces JOY! This is something to be practiced often, not just at Thanksgiving time. That is if you are in the market of experiencing more JOY in your life!

I practice gratitude each morning and before I go to bed. This time of year helps me go deeper and be more mindful of what I am thankful for while I sweat over the stove making all the must have traditions I do not like cooking, not one bit but I do love how I can take the time (while I wait for the water to boil for my potatoes) and make a conscious effort with my thoughts. It is a perfect time for me to fill up my bucket of Thankfulness and let it overflow! As I do this, the joy in me rises!

You can use this same exercise to experience more joy with your TEEN!

This is hard for me to believe but my oldest is officially an adult!

I had an opportunity to go up to his school this weekend and celebrate with him.

I was intentional about being present and enjoying my time with him and of course, watch him play some hockey!

While watching my teen in his environment it reminded me of what I want to make a priority in my own life.

My Big Takeaways From My Trip:

ONE: SURROUND YOURSELF WITH GOOD PEOPLE

TWO: TAKE ACTION

THREE: BUILD YOUR TEAM

Most parents (me included) tend to share our knowledge and advice with our teens CONSTANTLY, so they will become well adjusted contributors to society. “Do this. Don’t do that. Don’t forget this. Why are you doing it that way?” What if we stopped talking and started listening to our teen? What if, instead of lecturing them, we interacted with them? Sounds easy. It’s definitely not easy to change our ways, but it is definitely possible.

We NEED Community! 

We need to feel connected. It's what makes us human. 

While chaperoning a student retreat with hundreds of teenagers, peer leaders, and faculty members I realized something very important: 

COMMUNITY IS THE FOUNDATION OF WELLBEING.

 WE ALL NEED LOVING SUPPORTING PEOPLE IN OUR LIVES

We need people that nudge us forward. People who check in with us. Nothing crazy….a simple, “What’s up?”

Think about this:

Who do you call in an emergency, or vent about your day, or when you need a helping hand?

Who do you call when you need a laugh, who has your back no matter what? 

Now, what about your teen? Who do they call?

CONNECTION = SENSE OF BELONGING

We have all lost many connections over the last couple of years and it’s time to re-emerge and reconnect.  

And once you make one connection, others will follow!!!

The best way to find your community is to start with re-discovering who you are.  Once you and your teen re-learn and discover what lights you up, you start to naturally attract a community that are like-