If you’re parenting a teenager, you’ve probably been there: you ask a simple question, and you get a suspiciously vague or totally unbelievable answer. It happened to me just last week. I asked my teen where they were going, and they told me they were “just hanging out with friends.” Simple enough, right? But something felt off—call it parental intuition.

Long story short, I later found out that “hanging out” actually meant going to a party I didn’t know about. Cue the immediate surge of frustration, concern, and—if I’m being honest—hurt. I wanted to stay calm and respond thoughtfully, but instead, I went into full “What were you thinking?” mode. Not my finest moment, I’ll admit.

So, why do teens lie? And more importantly, how can we as parents handle it in a way that doesn’t lead to a total communication breakdown (like mine almost did)? Here’s what I’ve learned.

Parenting teens comes with its fair share of difficult decisions. It’s a constant balancing act between giving them freedom to grow and guiding them with boundaries that shape their future. But here's the key: your teens are watching your every move, and more than ever, they are learning from how you navigate the tough choices.

The Power of Your Example

At this stage, it’s not just what you tell your teen, it’s what you show them. They are absorbing the way you handle challenges, make decisions, and carry yourself through adversity. If you want your teen to grow into a resilient, confident adult, you need to model those very traits, even when the decisions you face are tough.

But what if you took a step back and imagined this scenario from a different perspective: If you were your teen, watching yourself in the same situation, what would you want them to do? Would you encourage them to take the easy way out? Or would you tell them to be brave, face their fears, and make the hard but right choice?

Parenting a teenager can feel like navigating a maze. With their rapidly changing moods, emerging independence, and evolving worldviews, it’s easy to feel like you’re speaking different languages. But here’s a timeless truth: kindness is a universal language that can bridge the gap between you and your teen. By leading with kindness, you not only foster a deeper connection with your child but also model the kind of leadership that truly makes a difference. 🌟

The Power of Kindness in Connection

Teenagers are at a stage in life where they’re seeking to define who they are and where they fit in the world. Amidst the chaos of academic pressures, social dynamics, and self-discovery, they often need to know that they are understood and valued. This is where kindness comes into play. ❤️

Kindness in parenting isn’t about being a pushover or letting go of boundaries. It’s about approaching interactions with empathy, patience, and respect. When you lead with kindness, you create an environment where your teen feels safe to express themselves and is more open to listening to you.

For parents of teens, the back-to-school responsibilities can seem unending: shop for clothes, plan carpools, manage high school/college orientation logistics, and plan to stock the pantry with all of the weeknight snacks and dinner staples. (Don’t forget to add every sports event to your calendar and then untangle the inevitable scheduling conflicts, too! 😵‍💫) 

And the worst part is that the back-to-school stress creeps into your summer, prematurely claiming the carefree spirit of the season and transforming it into an all-out, exhausting sprint towards the school year. Forget your end-of-summer fantasies of relaxing poolside with your family and finishing that book you’ve had on your nightstand for 5 months: August can feel like a tumultuous extension of the school year, and not at all like a relaxing, celebratory cap on the end of a restorative summer season. Yikes! 

You (and your family) deserve better.

Read on to cut through the chaos with 4 Impactful Ways to Connect with Your Teen During Back-to-School Season.

Teens and Anxiety is for REAL!

So many teens are experiencing more and more anxiety and it is harder for them to find happiness and confidence to do the things that they want.

Let’s be Real - Majority of teens are experiencing anxiety. Whether it is general feelings of anxiety, social anxiety, experiencing anxiety with school work, presentations, tests, athletic performance, social pressures, friendships, and so on. Anxiety is for REAL.

Anxiety builds overtime and doesn’t seem to dissipate without understanding Anxiety for REAL. If your teen is experiencing anxiety, give them the gift of understanding their emotions and how to overcome the fear of anxiety.

That is why I decided to develop an 8-week coaching series called, Anxiety for REAL. It is time for your teens to feel empowered and learn why they are experiencing it and what they can do about it! The power is within them!

Happy Summer!!! I absolutely love summer. It is my most favorite season. The warm weather is so comforting and I always feel more relaxed and allow my life to flow a bit more than being on a rigid schedule like most of the year. To get me into this mindset, I do a summer reset! I wanted to share my process and provide a guide for you and your teen. Get your summer started on the right foot so to speak!

I created 5 ways to care for yourself that will make you feel more relaxed, purposeful, and fulfilled! As parents of teens, we can get too much into the day to day of what “needs” to get done and not allow time to actually be intentional with our summer. We usually have the summer vacation planned but what about all the other weeks that comprise the summer.

Ask yourself:

What do I want to experience this summer?

How do I want to show up for myself and my family?

What do I want to accomplish?

How do I want to feel throughout this summer?

We rarely asked ourselves WHAT DO I WANT as parents. I want to give you permission to put yourself first!! You are worthy and deserving to have the summer you desire!!!

I ask…why not you?

You know I am a mama of 3 teens and most of the time my happy place is the comfort of my own home. I love it! It is warm and cozy, filled with love, and it is my teen’s home base as they are constantly in and out. I can very much be a creature of habit and totally get way too cozy and stay in the groove of my routine. Habits are easy for the brain, it doesn’t need to think, it just does.

Hence why habits are hard to break and feel really uncomfortable at times when we try something different!

It takes energy and intention to change it up…..and I am so glad I did this past weekend!! I couldn't wait to share with you that the effort and energy to plan an experience with your teen is worth it tenfold!

My daughter begged me last year to buy her tickets for a country concert. My mom brain went to….an outdoor concert, what if it rains? All those people? Tickets are pricey? The traffic, where will I park? This doesn’t sound fun at all. But when I could quiet my brain a bit and see the possibility of having fun with my daughter, it was a no brainer to go for it!!!

Friday morning, the day of the concert, those same thoughts came rearing back…..traffic, crowds, parking, I won’t get home until after midnight but again, I was able to acknowledge these thoughts but not allow them to take hold. Once I saw my daughter and her friend getting ready, all giddy and excited, I allowed myself to immerse into all of it!!

I quickly got ready and we headed off to have the time of our lives. We blasted the playlist of the concert in the car on the way there, we manifested the most amazing parking spot, barely hit any traffic, and had plenty of time to get our merch!!!

During the concert we danced, we took pics, we sang every word (if I knew them), and we had the best time ever!!! It felt so awesome to allow myself not to worry about anything, to be in the moment, to enjoy the smiles on the girls faces, to listen to them sing their hearts out, and enjoy the amazing performance! It felt good to act like a teen again!

It felt good to act like a teen again!

I am here to remind you that teens will be teens! Their prefrontal cortex doesn’t fully mature until the mid- 20”s. This is the part of the brain that is responsible for decision-making, impulse control, and judgment. So of course, they make some stupid mistakes and I mean some really stupid mistakes. I am not saying consequences for these actions should be dismissed but what I am saying is that we can offer our teens grace as they figure out this teen thing. Being a teen is hard and knowing this, we can offer them some grace, compassion, and extra love!

We all make mistakes. We all do things we wish we could have done differently. We can learn from our mistakes, but we are not supposed to keep them in the forefront of our mind.

The ONE SHIFT I want to offer that will connect you with your teen is to see the good!

Our Teens are TRULY AMAZING!

Remember the things they are doing well and DO NOT DWELL on what they didn’t. Dwell on the times they succeeded! The times they melted your heart and the times you glanced at them while they were sleeping and saw how peaceful they are. Look back on when half their clothes made it in the hamper, the time you asked them to do something and they did without complaining, and the amount of times they drove the car and came home safe. You can totally reminisce on all the days they showed up to school and did all the things!!!

Our teens are amazing!! Truly AMAZING!

Focus on the goodness and I promise you, the connection you desire with multiply!

You have the power to let your relationship with your teen flourish!

Our teens need us to do the inner work, the more that we work on our mind, the more you create the relationship you want with your teen. Let me support you to build the future you want with your teen.

I am here to support you with the work to build a deep connection with yourself and your teen.

It is never too late to start! I offer 1:1 life coaching sessions to help you build the life you truly desire for yourself and family. Let’s get started!

My goal is to help facilitate true connection between you and your teen! We all want to be seen and heard and I know that our teens need us more now than ever. Most of them don’t even realize it or don’t have the words to voice it but there is this underlying disconnect that they need us to help rebuild the bridge of connection.

I have one way that has been super helpful in guiding my thoughts back to goodness and I want to share with you!!!

It is this notion of: What channel are you tuned to?

As humans, our thoughts naturally gravitate towards the negative. Our minds are powerful. We have to understand what channel we are watching?

Are you playing back old memories of past mistakes or wrong doing your teen made?

Are you playing back the hurtful words said between the two of you?

Are you ruminating on some sad event when you weren’t treated right or something unfair happened?

Before you know it, you are feeling sad, resentment, discouraged, and lack of motivation to connect with your teen. I say………CHANGE THE CHANNEL!

Stop landing on the same miserable past, and focus on the GOODNESS Channel.

The goodness channel has memories of you and your teen experiencing so much good!

Do you feel the shift in your relationship with your teen? The shift where they start to spend more time without you.  When friends are a priority. The xbox is winning their time. Your teen's first boyfriend or girlfriend has them on FaceTime...ALL THE TIME. No matter what you do, you are seeing them less and less.  Boy, it sucks.  

Our logical brain can see it: we see our teens growing and evolving. We are happy that they want to hang out with friends, that they want to be social on the weekends. Then our thoughts get in the way and we start spiraling, thinking our teens will never need us and they don’t want to spend any time with us.  

What if I told you that your teens want to spend the majority of time with friends or on their xbox BUT they also want to spend time with you!!!! 

The key to spending quality time with your teen is understanding what energy are you bringing to the relationship with your teen.   

So many of my teen clients complain how much their parents are always nagging them to do something.  What type of energy are you showing up with your teen?

Are you in “needy” energy?Are you in “grapsy” energy?Are you “controlling” energy?  

We all have been here, craving our teens' attention and time. We love our teens and want to spend time with them but if you want to build lasting connection with them we need to shift our energy out of graspy, needy, and controlling energy for their attention

Coming from these energies doesn’t work if you want a lasting and real relationship with your teen.

HERE IS WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

You are NOT being replaced! It is impossible to replace you.

What your teen is doing is totally normal and is supposed to be doing this. As parents, we have to come from open energy and allow them the time and space to grow. As parents, we have to continue doing what we love to do, and invite our teens to do it. If they say no, then do it anyway. It is a perfect time to rediscover your joys and what makes you happy. Start doing them and your teen may or may not join you.

For me, I love my afternoon walks with my dog. Each day as I am heading out the door, I ask my teens if they would like to join. For weeks/months, I would get no takers. Then eventually, one, two, or all three teens would join me, depending on the day and their mood….hehe. Each day, I continued to enjoy my walk and ask my teens. Now, one of my teens asks me each day, what time is our walk? It is my most favorite time of the day!!!! This happened naturally, not from a graspy, controlling or needy way. From a: I am heading out and would love for you to join, but if not totally ok. I use this same energy, with watching my favorite series or heading out to dinner with my hubby. If they join, yay, if not, I am still going to have a wonderful time.

Remember, your teen loves you and needs you. It is our job to create a loving, open energy for them to feel loved, safe, and welcomed!!!